The Art of Gratitude

The Letter

Henri Lerolle

The written word is beautiful….almost seductive. As much as I love the convenience of telephones, emails, and text messages, I miss letters and notes…you know the ones that have a stamp on them. The ones written on paper with a pen. Handwritten letters and notes require planning, thought, care. But they seem to be fast going the way of the dinosaur. As the bridal season is winding down, I am wondering if thank you notes are becoming a lost art. Most of the thank you notes I receive these days resemble this:

Dear Mrs. Rainbow,

Thank you for the lovely gift. It was so nice of you to think of us at this happy time.

Sincerly,

The Bride

Okay, I admit it. I am a stickler for good manners. You may remember a tongue in cheek post I did on RSVPs. But I don’t think a good thank you note requires vast knowledge of Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt. I don’t even think it requires beautiful engraved or monogrammed stationery (though I love it for myself). Attractive note cards are available in any price range. Emily Post said, “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others”. I think Someone Else said it first. You remember…Do unto others…..? Here are the guidelines that I think make a good thank you note.

1. Be prompt!!!! Sooner is better than later. Later is better than never. A bride should have all gifts acknowledged within three months max!

2. Make a specific reference to the gift. Remember the giver has spent their thought, time, and money. Tell the giver how you plan to use the gift or why it is special to you. Get creative if you don’t like it.

3. Remember to thank a host or hostess for entertaining you. It may not be absolutely necessary, but you’ll be at the top of the next guest list!

4. Make it personal. Thank the giver for coming to the party or wedding…tell them you enjoyed seeing them at the event….tell them they served your favorite dish. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and special.

5. Make the note longer than two sentences and use your best handwriting skills. Print if penmanship is not your strong suit.

My children like to remind me that they grew up hearing my constant admonition: “We can’t all be pretty, handsome, or smart but we can all have good manners!”. One of our Supreme Court Justices said it best: Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.

I’ll be linking to Laurie at Bargain Hunting and Chatting with Laurie on Saturday for a A Few of My Favorite Things. A good thank you note is one of my favorite things! Laurie, thank you for hosting and thank you for stopping by :). Don’t forget to say hello!

Why Haven't I Heard From You?

RSVP --a simple little acronym appearing at the end of many invitations. It stands for "respondez s'il vou plait" meaning "please respond". You don't have to respond in French. Good old American will do. So, in the words of Reba Mcentire: tell me why...haven't I...heard from you? Even if you don't normally have your volume turned on--turn it on today...you'll smile :) In recent months we've entertained a few times...a large formal wedding and a couple of smaller parties. I am appalled (yes, I used that word) at the number of people who do not respond to an invitation. I'm not talking about sixteen year old slackers. I'm talking about the guy who is on the board at the bank, the lady who teaches your kids, the mother in charge of raising the next generation...in short, lots of people. Really in this age of instant communication, there really is no excuse...none. There are lots of different ways to reach me.

I conveniently wrote my number at the end of the invitation. You can try my house phone...I still have one. As the song says, "I have call waiting, call forwarding, you can even call collect". I have an answering machine if I am not at home.

I've got a cell phone. I know you have one too. I see you in your car, in line at the grocery store, and sometimes even in the movie theater. Could you take just a minute to RSVP?

We don't even have to have direct contact. You can email me. I don't mind. I won't be judgemental if you can't come.

I'm "with it" now! You can even write on my Facebook page.

I don't twitt..or tweet, or whatever it is...but I will, if it will help.

I've tried to make it as painless as possible. The envelope is pre-addressed and there is a stamp on it. All you have to do is fill in the name and make a check mark. No explanation or personal message is necessary. Sure, I'd love a note, but I know you're busy.

It's not as if I asked you to send it by carrier pigeon. Any of the above methods will work. It's just a matter of good manners and basic consideration really. Sooo....tell me why...haven't I...heard from you?

I'm linking this to Tam at the Gypsy's Corner for Three or More Tuesday ...three or more ways you can reach me:) I think her regular format will resume this week. You can visit some less disgruntled people here :)